You Are Innocent When You Dream

slug soup, slug husband

2011-08-10T12:19:00.001-07:00

I recall an abandoned house

It was very run down, filled with leaves and cobwebs. It was an old house.

I was doing pull ups on a pull up bar in one of the door ways. My Moms husband

was sitting in a lazy boy with a big wool blanket. i remember thinking this was

just his kind of house. I found my mom and sister in one of the very musty rooms. I was

eating something out of a bowl.

We got to talking. I said something about needing to cut back on sex... my mom laughed.

She said her husband was always complaining that he, now in his 70's, is not out there

"servicing women" like he was in his 40's. That comment disgusted me. I spooned some

more of whatever it was that i was eating into my mouth and chewed. Another bite and

some more chewing. I stirred the contents of the bowl which resembled mushroom soup. Instead of

mushrooms however the dream revealed to me that i was eating very large black slugs.

After chewing thoroughly and looking into my bowl to see the slugs there still alive... i figured

yuck... no more slugs for me and put the bowl down

the sour cream ending

2011-07-08T15:37:00.000-07:00

it was like i was downhill skateboarding but instead of being on a board i was just in my sneakers.

And instead of a cement hill... it was covered in wet green grass. The hill was long and winding and steep! My shoes had me gliding down the grassy surface at high speed as though i was hydroplaning. My knees were bent my ankles swiveling from side to side and my hips agile. My arms out like wings. My eyes fixed on the terrain below. I carved a path i as cut across back and forth the slope to control my speed. I would dig my heals into the earth to slow myself. At one point the hill had become long enough that my speed increased overwhelmingly and i began to wobble I realized that i still had some distance to go. I became nervous that i would bail... and that a crash at this speed would be pulverize me. As i was struggling with my balance and my hesitance to commit, a memory from my wake life entered my dream. I used to skate in my wake life... down long steep hills. I know the speed wobble ! In my dream it was as though my wake self was advising my dream self. She reminded her... "when you get speed wobbles you've just got to ride them through, relax into the wobble, bare down and surrender yourself to going faster !" So thats what i did. i relaxed into the wobble. I felt my hips arms and legs swing and warp searching for balance. I just let them. in a matter of seconds my core had regained control of its extremities and speed had pulled me through to a controlled warp speed !!! it was amazing how much control i had as i joined forces with gravity. Zoooooooom as i bombed the hill like a super hero !

Just as the freedom was setting in... I dropped something. It was my purse with all of my money in it and my passport. I realized i was going to have to stop even and i was going to lose this fantastic buzz.

I also knew that i would have to climb back up. Hmmmmmph. I leaned back and dug my heals into the dirt. i felt the dirt grind up below me as i came skidding to a hault . Then somehow it came to my attention that Danny... my next door neighbor had accused my of making his sour cream go bad by sticking my finger in it even though it had been sitting in his fridge for over a month.

wish i had a barn like that

2011-05-22T12:28:00.000-07:00

I was walking through some neighborhood when Guy Garvey called me on the phone. I answered. A video that guy was shooting for me came up on my phone. A video call.

All the Elbow boys were jumpin and runnin and messin around on some cobble stone street.

I could here Jupp's voice saying to a radio interviewer... my shoes have gone missing. I found myself in a circle of people. 6 or 7 Strangers. I had been approaching them as i walked.

There is no explaining why they formed a tight nit circle around me. It did make me nervous. The only thing that came of it was this woman showing me how to receive the video

on my phone and telling me that its more expensive to send videos this way because its sent by gas. I found myself in my boyfriends house. a model train went rolling up its track

with the daily mail in its caboose . I thought how smart my boyfriend is. I went into the upstairs bathroom and realized i never use it because it is filled with cassette tapes. I made a

promise to clean it and make more use of it. I told him so. I then found myself at the entrance of a barn type structure. I guess this Barn used to belong to his Aunt. I entered the barn to

find a big brilliant space with a big kitchen in it. The kitchen had an amazing cooking range in it surrounded by long stretches of counter tops. It had a big sink and wash up area. there were tall

cupboards filled with every kind of dishware...everything was old.. and stylish...and dusty. I went rummaging for finds which were many. Many things made if colored glass.

The kitchen was not just equipped for cooking. It was stocked to entertain ! I was over the moon at the discovery

not only because our kitchen was tiny and had this shitty little cooker in it... but its seems as though we had inherited this amazing space with all of this cool shit in it !! I found some

glass cabinets filled with clothes and jewelry. I found a chest of Native American turquoise jewelry. In my wake life i am in love with old Native american silver work. So this find was

particularly exciting. I started dressing myself with the pieces. In a chest if clothes i found a braintanned deer skin dress.. I put it on... and yes i looked like Pocahontas. A man walked in.

He said there was a leak and he needed to find it. He started turning up the lids on several different stoves that were scattered across the space. Each of them had a flame burning inside.

I wondered how long those flames had been burning and then realized that that must be why our gas bill was so high !! the man went to a hose just outside the back door

and cut it open. Water came gushing out. Through this action he somehow fixed the leak. A tank came rolling up with a gang of marines in it. The fix it man hopped in. The tank rolled through the barn.

The barn was suddenly filled with battle torn soldiers huddled around each warm stove. Brad Pitt was one of the soldiers and so was that girl who starred in Howard the Duck. You know.. that girl.

Brad gave a nod to the Marines as they passed through. The girl spoke out... saying "hey whats going on?" but she had Val Kilmers voice. I woke up needing a wee.

so close yet so far away

2011-04-20T10:47:00.000-07:00

kate bush was serving drinks behind the bar with sexy blonde

I approached the bar. I approached a hero. The song we were

working on earlier that day in the studio came over the radio.

Win Your Love is playing over the radio right now and Kate Bush is

standing right here in front of me. I got a cheeky grin on my face.

we stood there together as she mixed my drink and listened to a song

about a little girl wishing for a broken arm.

The atmosphere in the room shifts as the song enters the prechorus.

I anticipate the chorus and stand there facing kate waiting to sense her reaction when the chorus comes in.

when we finally get to the chorus where the voices are meant to fly... a load of guitars come whaling smothering any trace of a vocal... Guitars WANKING ALL over the Chorus !!! its a catastrophe !!!! Sabotage !!!!!!!

Waterman Hors devours

2011-02-01T10:01:00.000-08:00

i was in a wood cabin sitting outside working on my homework which was in a green binder. The landscape around me was coverd in snow. The young lady i was with who was a very old friend and one i havent seen or heard from in over ten years. Her name is Tara Waterman. She came outside and said "Its not like there is going to be an avalanche." At that very moment their was a rumble and huge chunk of snow came barging down the hill toward the cabin. We ran inside and watched as the snow us roof and all.... and my green binder. The house was dark. I went into the garage to sort out some candles. Their was some kind of buzz that started and the whole room started to vibrate like it was inside a live wire.My hair started to blow. Their was some kind of spook in the house. We, who were now three, including Taras twin sister all looked at each other with wonder. I took out a jar of olives and another jar. The other jar was filled with an oily vinegary substance. swimming in the oil were miniature versions of Tara. Each of them with her dark hair her red corduroy pants and black shoes. each of these minatures in a different shape. Many of them in various diving shapes others in submissive postures as though being swept along a fast current. I picked up one of these miniature Taras and stuffed it inside an olive. I arranged it so that her little head was just peaking out and the tips of her fingers as though she was about to climb through. her one eye was open and looking upward. Her dark hair was greasy and sticking to her face. I offered this hors devours to Taras twin sister. Tara watching me do this got an evil little grin. The twin took the stuffed olive and popped it in her mouth contentedly. We heard the bones crunch and imagined the brain squirting out of its crispy shell. Yum ;-D. Tara and i laughed and winged!!! What?!? the Twin asked. I gave her another. This time she looked the gift olive in the mouth. as you would expect she was freaked by what she saw and through the olive on the floor and ran off. I imagine with the purpose to purge herself. Tara and stood there.. laughing.

Squaw Hot Pants

2011-01-04T09:45:00.000-08:00

I was in venice california. A young skater kid gave me directions to an absolutely dreamy army surplus store. I was in heaven sifting through old world war one battles garb from all around the world. They also Native american pieces for sale !! o my god ! Sitting Bull's Head Dress ! Custer's jacket !!! for Sale !!! I was particularily drawn to the selection of squaw hot pants with fringe made from brain tanned dear hide. I decided to go with the head dress and the hot pants. I got in my car and drove into the hills. I parked my car and walked to the river. I took off al of my clothes and got into the river. The river was running rapid and thrashing over rocks. Perfect for a rough raft ride. I was riding the river sans raft. It did seemed quite dangerous and i remember hitting the rocks. I wasnt alone on the rapids. My ex boyfriends sister and her husband and baby were riding the rapids as well. Despite the danger we were washed up into a still leg of the river. I climbed up onto the shore. I realised then that i was a very far distance from my car. I found a handsome young man who was considering driving me. It turns out the length of the river took me to Australia !! I had to get back to my car from Australia !! That was some river ride !! Seemlessly i found myself in a hotel room that was done up in 50's American decor. I was washing up and it became clear that i was in a rush and that i did not want to get caught in the room. I had snuck in after it had been cleaned and had rustled the bed and undone the tidy little corner finishes on the toilet paper roll. i was carrying many musical instruments and a few bags. I was juggling my possessions trying to figure out how i got it all in in the first place. I was about to leave without my guitar...and my great grandmothers blankets. I finally got everything in hand and looked like a bag ladies shopping cart when i turned my head to look at the door. I heard a click. The handle turned and a hand from the other side cracked it open.

the bed bug bites

2010-12-20T11:26:00.000-08:00

I woke up in a a squat . I woke up on a mattress on the the floor. My nose woke up to an undefinable scent than had been filling it throughout the night. My eyes opened to view the bare wooden walls, the ceiling fan a the entrance to filthy kitchen. I woke up in a bed where four people slept. I turned to my left and i recognized the young man next to me but not the girl next to him as she emerged from the linens. I had never seen her before. She was blonde..slight... and smiling at me as she wrapped herself around the man. The woman on her left was still in slumber. On the chest of the man i found a very big winged insect. It was much like a big midnight blue butterfly but posed more threat as it had a stinger on the ends of its tail. Its body was black and fury and Its wings were like multiple swafts of ragged, richly colored silk. My blonde intimate stranger became aware of our winged friend and pinched its tail off. OUr winged friend didnt seem to mind and completely accepted this action. She then started pulling a thread from its bottom. Out it came this very fine sticky thread ...miles and miles of it. You would think it would have unravelled or emptied the bug but no... it just kept coming. The girl started coughing. Then she sneezed. As she bobbed her head with the sneeze a fine metalic blue dust went spraying everywhere. She shook her head .... blue pollen... everywhere. The boy and started sneezing and shaking our heads. Blue shiny pollen everywhere !!! Everything in my view was now coverd in this dust. I dont seem to recall what happened next... perhaps nothing happened... who can say.

High Brow Anime Gore

2010-12-07T11:46:00.000-08:00

It was night time. I was riding a motorbike down a city street. The handles were turned parallel to each other which felt very unnatural. I came to bridge and was now travelling under the bridge (and as if i was never on a bike) by foot. Above the side walk there was another path that ran the length of the underpass. There was a japanese couple each pushing a stroller with babies in. I watched them as they navigated there way across this shadowy pass. They must have come to crack in the landscape as i saw them both stumble and and wrestle their carriages back to balance. The boy said to the girl, " I am just going to let you handle it if anything tricky comes up, your much more intelligent than me". And so he did. Swiftly upon them came two boys on BMX bikes. The dismounted their bikes and grabbed the couple. The setting shifts from under the bridge to a high street clothing store where i am being given clothing. The couple is being attacked by the BMX boys. They have her pinned to the floor and have gauged her eyes out with a glass shard. It was a proper kill bill moment. I was astonished and terrified yet somehow my attention was divided between the gory anime and the pleasures of the very fine threads being draped all over me. I was in a real fever... but i couldnt tell could'nt tell over what... the violence, or the clothes? ridiculous !!! Anyhow I somehow snapped out of it and ran the fuck out of there !!! "ive got to get to the police" i panted to myself. As i ran i looked behind me to find one of the BMX boys chasing after me. I screamed " what are you doing? why did you do that to her?" he said. "becuase she's famous, everyone knows her" he then lifted his shard of glass up toward me. Then... and i kid you not... the alarm went off. Whats ridiculous about this dream is that i dreamt it the night after i was in a clothing store in spain where they were giving me clothing. What kind of a twisted fuck ?

mistress unravelled

2010-11-22T11:11:00.000-08:00

I was in bed. I had a boyfriend in my dream. He was tall dark and handsome :-). He came into our bedroom pulling a florescent orange sweater over his head. I had never seen that sweater before and new articles of clothing always intrigue me. "Where did you get that sweater" i ask " Jenna gave it to me" he responds. I didnt like this as she was a work colleague of his and one that i found a threat to my happy home. I saw the sweater had a snag. He turned away from me and started to his desk. With my curiosity peeked and my eyes green, i got myself out of bed. I made my way to my lover. He saw me coming and quickly shuffled the cd he was handling back into its file. Driven by suspicion I snatched it up "Whats this ?" A look of discomfort came over him. " is this a mixed tape ?" He sucked in his cheeks and diverted his eyes "is this a mix tape?" again avoidance from my suspect. I went to the cd player to find out what sentiments he had dubbed for his mistress and the breaker of my home. Just as i went to press play and to avoid the piercing truth... he said "yes...yes... its a mixed tape " furious i tore the cd from the player and stormed to the terrace that looked over the backyard of my families home that i grew up in. With the biggest gust i threw the cd across the fence. I heard it break and imaged it sliver into little tiny pieces. I turned back to him. He was walking awat from me. I moved in closer...just close enough to reach out and pinch the snag between my fingers. Holding on the the yarn as my lover walks away from me the sweater comes unravelled and the florescent orange rope skips to the floor like a heart missing beats...

what the barn has in store

2010-11-12T12:51:00.000-08:00

I was in the mountainous hills of West County Sonoma in California . It was spring and the the grass was still green. was taking part in a festival that was being held on this amazing piece of land. I was back stage. there were people everywhere doing all sorts of rural chores... chores that require wheel barrows and pick axes etc. I went into a barn and much to my suprise i found the Ditty Bops cooking over a fire. Who are the Ditty Bops you ask? The Ditty Bops are a band made up by two magical young women named amanda and abbey. They are two of my best friends and two of the most creative people i know. Any how they were trying to figure out how to balance this ceramic bowl over the fire. I was happy to assist. It turns out it turns out that this barn was my new home and i was to live there with the Ditty Bops and another one of my magical friends Ashley. This was a wonderful suprise. The barn was huge !! It was made all of redwood. It had a dirt floor ad all sorts of amazing antique furniture. A rocking chair, a roll top desk. cabinets with very small drawers. I was so excited to learn that this was my new home. i went to rummaging. I found an enormous wool rug and rolled it out in the floor. Woven into the pattern was a phoenix surrounded by flames. The bird had a very colorful tale. I moved some of the most intriguing pieces of furniture into place. I then decided to venture around the property. I passed by many more people with wheel barrows and pick axes. I found a road and walked down it. There was a stream running down the right side of the road. I went to cross it. As i went to step in i saw a steady stream on rattle snakes speeding through the water leaving blurred trails of snake colors streaming in front of me. For some reason i decided that instead of going back the way i came... my only option was to cross the rattle snake creek. I waited for what seemed to be a clearing in the reptile traffic. I stepped in. Before i new it the snakes had rushed up on me and were swarming me. i was doing my best to get across the river. All but one of the snakes lost interest and moved on. The one however did not want me in her creek. She propelled herself at me. I racing heart moved me faster away. I managed get to the other side and on to safe ground. Back in my barn now i took to exploring what would be the bedrooms. these were like no rooms i had seen before as the were quite large were surfaced entirely bu a fine polished hardwood but the floor slanted down ward to a small level surface big enough only for a bed. The slanted floor had was wavy.. its hard to explain... it had waves all the way down it and i surfed the waves to the flat area at the bottom. I saw a bathtub through a window. i exited a door to find the bathtub and i came to a staircase that led me to a shower. There were two very unattractive older men in the shower. One was watching the other as he was filated by a fouth mouth prostitute. This was an unlikely sight to find in my barn. I startled them ! Its fair to say that they startled me ! One of the men shouted at me ! i dashed out of there and back up the wavy floor which was much harder to climb up that surf down..especially when running from a dirty old man !

undisturbable fatty and the asparagus worm heads

2010-10-25T09:59:00.000-07:00

i came upon a young woman and a dog i used to look after named jasper. jasper was a fat black labrador. the woman was young and i have no idea who she was. at the moment i came upon them and to my disbelief the young woman was snapping off one of jaspers legs at the hip. jasper expressed no discomfort rather the ever so familiar indifference i was used to seeing in him. he was laying on his fat belly mewing on his tongue and most likely pining for a biscuit. i on the other hand was crawling out of my skin as this very strange young woman snapped off the other limb exposing the torn splinterd and serrated bone and tendon. there was no blood in jasper !!!!

no blood at all. just whit bone on white sinew and muscle inside fatty. without guff jasper pulled himself around with his front two. darling jaspy. WHAT HAS HAPPENED TO YOU ?

we then rolled him over on his back exposing his generous tummy. he had these grub type wormy things with asparagus heads burrowed into the soft of his belly. we went to de-asparagus worm head him. like we were going in to pull out a tick.... we pinched on the asparagus head worm and pulled. they came out ever so pleasingly easy. i got a strange sensation of pleasure from this act. like knit picking your lover.

perverse.

The Mists of Roxy

2010-09-22T13:58:00.001-07:00

it was night time. we were in the a field surrounded by a circle of redwood trees. it was cool and misty. we were wading in mineral hot spring. i was wearing orange bathing suit bottoms and no top. i was floating on m back staring up at the stars. a waft of sage lavender and mint filled the air. i heard people approaching. leaning over the spring... came a fury hat on the head of a bearded face. then another fury face and another. they were wearig plaid shirts. some how i put it together that i was surrounded by a clan of fury rockstars. my boyfriend asked me if i was going to put a shirt on. i didnt see the point...why cover up? he said he appreciated my ability to be myself. then we were at the concert side of stage ... through the mists i saw an old friend standing direct in my view. she is one of my favourite dancers. i ran over and pounced on her. we danced the nigt away. i love you liberty. who were the fury rockstars?

Me the Grape Vine

2010-09-07T09:56:00.000-07:00

i became aware of the mixture of dirt and air moving through my nose as I took in my last breath. The dirt now lodged in my nasal passage agitated my eyeballs and brain. They started to water. My brain and eyes weeping. I would have opened my eyes but I knew the earth would fall into them. I could feel something, some insect perhaps…tiptoeing along my eyelashes… a millipede…one leg fore every lash. I opened my mouth and let the loamy soil fill in like an avalanche. I began to chew and churn the earth in with the moisture in my mouth until it turned to mud. I leaned my head back and let the mud run down my throat. The cold sludge into my stomach through my guts and back into the earth. My back started to cramp. I cannot be sure but it was as though two enormous hands emerged from my kidneys and gripped onto the earth locking me there. I felt a sensation in my abdomen like a needle pulling thread up through my cervix and through my flesh. A sprouting vine winding its way through the soft of my belly climbed through my skin and up toward the sun. I felt my self decompose as the vine grew rapidly bigger and bigger growing leaves and fruit. I could feel the leaves as though they were my own hands and the fruits as well like tears perhaps as they swelled up with sour juices sweeten and then fall to the ground

skull cap owl

2010-06-08T12:41:00.001-07:00

I was driving down a dark country road through a heavy fog. I could only see a few feet in front of the car. I was driving slow with the windows down. I could feel the wet air on my face. Suddenly a deer jumped in front of my car. I slammed on my brakes. To my relief I saw didn’t hit the deer and I saw it prance into the wood. Just ahead from where I stopped in the middle of the road, I could see a large bird tossing and flopping. As I approached I the bird it clearly defined itself as an owl…a big brown spotted owl. It seems as though it died just as I knelt down to get a closer look. She let me pick
her up. I cut into her skull and pulled of the cap of her skull. It popped of in my hand. A thick, round piece of bone…much like a sand dollar. I strung it up on a piece of rope and draped it around my neck. It was beautiful. I then dug a whole and buried the rest of the owl with the intention to come back after a season and dig up the picked clean bones.

gun crazy dude and the 70's van

2010-05-27T09:19:00.000-07:00

I was catching a ride with a friend of mine from what seemed like a theme park after closing hours. We went down into the car park to this amazingly pimped out 70’s van. As I opened up the van I heard a voice. I looked over to see a young asian man sitting in the front seat of his car with the door open. Once he caught my attention he asked me f it was legal to carry a gun here in this country. I said no. He got out of his car and aimed this rifle at me. He shot at me. A bullet grazed my arm. I was suddenly completely freaked out. And began running around the van. He shot directly at me again. This time he missed me but was still coming after me. As he has going to shoot again my friend came up behind him and put him in some sort of choke hold. I wrestled the gun from him but instead of shooting him I stabbed the tip of the gun up through his soft fleshy chin. He was wearing glasses. The gun sank into his skin like a pen being pushed through cold butter. I did this a few times until he got the point. Once he calmed down we got into the 70’s van and pulled the yellow curtains closed, layed our heads back on the green shag rug, watched the sparkle of the mirror ball….my friend offered me a drink from the wet bar. I requested eggnog.

Plum Lover Woodpecker Seahorse

2010-05-20T08:19:00.000-07:00

I found a plum resting in a mint patch. I bent down over to take a bite. I didn’t use my hands. The mint filled my senses. Instead of going in on the flesh of the plum with my teeth. I nudged it open with my tongue. It opened up and its sugary juice wet my mouth. With my tongue I was searching for the stone. I couldn’t find it. With my fingers I spread open fruit to reveal the pit. Happy at reaching the heart of the fruit I handed it to my lover. He lapped up the sappy fruit until all that was left was the seed of a plum tree.

I was then given a box much like a match box although this box was made of wood rather than heavy paper. I slid open the box to find it filled with the fibre from the soap root plant. Nestled in the fibres were 3 miniature woodpeckers. These were a strange breed of woodpecker that was crossed with the sea horse so they had tails that curled upward towards their breasts. They were no longer than a half inch long. I picked them up very carefully one by one and placed them in my palm to explore the miniatures. They were all dead. They had turned there skeletons inside out. Their feathers and skin still intact but lining the inside of the bones instead. They were dry and hollow. Somehow though the wood peckers had their plumage still on the top of their heads. They felt as though they would crumble under the slightest pressure. I placed them carefully back in their fibrous grave. I slid closed the box.

I was in the BBC radio station.

2010-05-19T13:05:00.000-07:00

I was in the BBC radio station. We had just finished a live radio session for the a radio Dj that I was unfamiliar with. We were packing up our gear when someone down the hall started playing the recording of what we had just played on the show. I stopped all business to take a listen. “wait…something is really off…” what ? It was my voice singing my words and melody as I had done just minutes before but instead of sounding like the old me the recording had me sounding more like Leonard Cohen. I was singing Murder of Birds two octaves lower. Knowing that I hadn’t actually sung murder of birds two octaves lower and that its not actually physically possible for me to do so. We went in to question the engineer. The rather soft and round engineer was sitting at the mixing board cleaning something red and gooey out of the mixing board looking frazzled. He was wearing a bib making him look rather doe boy. The red gooey stuff was all over his bib and pant legs. After a series of forensic investigation we came to the conclusion that the engineer had been eating something red and gooey and that he spilled it all over the mixing desk causing my vocal in the recording to shift pitch by two octaves giving me that Leonard Cohen quality. Once we had found out who and what was the culprit of this pesky little mishap the doe boy engineer took to flailing as fast as he could out of the BBC station leaving a smear of red goo behind him. Then somehow a girl I went to school with whos name I have forgotten and who I have not thought since I saw back in those days but who appeared exactly how I remember her was standing there preparing herself for the pool. She was wearing a sheer smock from the fifties over a Gstring bikini.

She was looking into the mirror over her shoulder to her backside and adjusting the G string bottoms to fit just so and said “that’s how the girls are doing it these days right” and slinked out of the room on her way to the pool.

Then there was a knock on the door of my shack. I opened the door to be flooded with the light from a tropical sunset. Standing at my door illuminated was Beyonce. She looked like a tropical angel in a tropical heaven. I said “hi Beyonce. What are we doing tonight ?”

I slipped on my favourite pair of jeans.

Welcome

2010-04-28T05:01:00.001-07:00

I would like to introduce to you my dream blog “ you are innocent when you dream”. I dream explicitly vivid dreams. The life I lead in my sleep is absolutely wonderous and absolutely real. I decided that I wanted to keep a journal recording my sleeplife adventures and what’s more I decided that I would like to share them with anyone who would like to read them.

I will post these dreams as they come according to my natural patterns of dreaming. I seem to go through cycles. I will record them as accurately as possible. I must warn you… I take full advantage of the fact that “you are innocent when you dream” and I promise to include every bizarre, fantastic, criminal, mundane sexual, psycho and obscenely beautiful detail. I promise to disclose all under the condition that you, my fair reader, will forgive me everything. Enjoy.