Wednesday, 10 August 2011

slug soup, slug husband

I recall an abandoned house
It was very run down, filled with leaves and cobwebs. It was an old house.
I was doing pull ups on a pull up bar in one of the door ways. My Moms husband
was sitting in a lazy boy with a big wool blanket. i remember thinking this was
just his kind of house. I found my mom and sister in one of the very musty rooms. I was
eating something out of a bowl.
We got to talking. I said something about needing to cut back on sex... my mom laughed.
She said her husband was always complaining that he, now in his 70's, is not out there
"servicing women" like he was in his 40's. That comment disgusted me. I spooned some
more of whatever it was that i was eating into my mouth and chewed. Another bite and 
some more chewing. I stirred the contents of the bowl which resembled mushroom soup. Instead of
mushrooms however the dream revealed to me that i was eating very large black slugs. 
After chewing thoroughly and looking into my bowl to see the slugs there still alive... i figured
yuck... no more slugs for me and put the bowl down

Friday, 8 July 2011

the sour cream ending

it was like i was downhill skateboarding but instead of being on a board i was just in my sneakers.
And instead of a cement hill... it was covered in wet green grass. The hill was long and winding and steep! My shoes had me gliding down the grassy surface at high speed as though i was hydroplaning. My knees were bent my ankles swiveling from side to side and my hips agile. My arms out like wings. My eyes fixed on the terrain below. I carved a path i as cut across back and forth the slope to control my speed. I would dig my heals into the earth to slow myself. At one point the hill had become long enough that my speed increased overwhelmingly and i began to wobble I realized that i still had some distance to go. I became nervous that i would bail... and that a crash at this speed would be pulverize me. As i was struggling with my balance and my hesitance to commit, a memory from my wake life entered my dream. I used to skate in my wake life... down long steep hills. I know the speed wobble ! In my dream it was as though my wake self was advising my dream self.  She reminded her... "when you get speed wobbles you've just got to ride them through, relax into the wobble, bare down and surrender yourself to going faster !" So thats what i did. i relaxed into the wobble. I felt my hips arms and legs swing and warp searching for balance. I just let them.  in a matter of seconds my core had regained control of its extremities and speed had pulled me through to a controlled warp speed !!! it was amazing how much control i had as i joined forces with gravity. Zoooooooom as i bombed the hill like a super hero !
Just as the freedom was setting in... I dropped something. It was my purse with all of my money in it and my passport. I realized i was going to have to stop even and i was going to lose this fantastic buzz. 
I also knew that i would have to climb back up. Hmmmmmph. I leaned back and dug my heals into the dirt.  i felt the dirt grind up below me as i came skidding to a hault . Then somehow it came to my attention that Danny... my next door neighbor had accused my of making his sour cream go bad by sticking my finger in it even though it had been sitting in his fridge for over a month.

Sunday, 22 May 2011

wish i had a barn like that

I was walking through some neighborhood when Guy Garvey called me on the phone. I answered. A video that guy was shooting for me came up on my phone. A video call.
All the Elbow boys were jumpin and runnin and messin around on some cobble stone street. 
I could here Jupp's voice saying to a radio interviewer... my shoes have gone missing. I found myself in a circle of people. 6 or 7 Strangers. I had been approaching them as i walked. 
There is no explaining why they formed a tight nit circle around me. It did make me nervous. The only thing that came of it was this woman showing me how to receive the video
on my phone and telling me that its more expensive to send videos this way because its sent by gas. I found myself in my boyfriends house. a model train went rolling up its track
with the daily mail in its caboose . I thought how smart my boyfriend is. I went into the upstairs bathroom and realized i never use it because it is filled with cassette tapes. I made a 
promise to clean it and make more use of it. I told him so. I then found myself at the entrance of a barn type structure. I guess this Barn used to belong to his Aunt. I entered the barn to 
find a big brilliant space with a big kitchen in it. The kitchen had an amazing cooking range in it surrounded by long stretches of counter tops. It had a big sink and wash up area. there were tall
cupboards filled with every kind of dishware...everything was old.. and stylish...and dusty. I went rummaging for finds which were many. Many things made if colored glass. 
The kitchen was not just equipped for cooking. It was stocked to entertain !  I was over the moon at the discovery
not only because our kitchen was tiny and had this shitty little cooker in it... but its seems as though we had inherited this amazing space with all of this cool shit in it !! I found some
glass cabinets filled with clothes and jewelry. I found a chest of Native American turquoise jewelry. In my wake life i am in love with old Native american silver work. So this find was
particularly exciting.  I started dressing myself with the pieces. In a chest if clothes i found a braintanned deer skin dress.. I put it on... and yes i looked like Pocahontas. A man walked in. 
He said there was a leak and he needed to find it. He started turning up the lids on several different stoves that were scattered across the space. Each of them had a flame burning inside.
I wondered how long those flames had been burning and then realized that that must be why our gas bill was so high !! the man went to a hose just outside the back door
and cut it open. Water came gushing out. Through this action he somehow fixed the leak. A tank came rolling up with a gang of marines in it. The fix it man hopped in. The tank rolled through the barn. 
The barn was suddenly filled with battle torn soldiers huddled around each warm stove. Brad Pitt was one of the soldiers and so was that girl who starred in Howard the Duck. You know.. that girl.
Brad gave a nod to the Marines as they passed through. The girl spoke out... saying "hey whats going on?" but she had Val Kilmers voice. I woke up needing a wee.

Wednesday, 20 April 2011

so close yet so far away

kate bush was serving drinks behind the bar with sexy blonde 
I approached the bar. I approached a hero. The song we were 
working on earlier that day in the studio came over the radio. 
Win Your Love is playing over the radio right now and Kate Bush is 
standing right here in front of me. I got a cheeky grin on my face.
we stood there together as she mixed my drink and listened to a song 
about a little girl wishing for a broken arm. 
The atmosphere in the room shifts as the song enters the prechorus. 
I anticipate the chorus and stand there facing kate waiting to sense her reaction when the chorus comes in.
when we finally get to the chorus where the voices are meant to fly... a load of guitars come whaling smothering any trace of a vocal... Guitars WANKING ALL over the Chorus !!! its a catastrophe !!!! Sabotage !!!!!!!

Tuesday, 1 February 2011

Waterman Hors devours

i was in a wood cabin sitting outside working on my homework which was in a green binder. The landscape around me was coverd in snow. The young lady i was with who was a very old friend and one i havent seen or heard from in over ten years. Her name is Tara Waterman.  She came outside and said "Its not like there is going to be an avalanche." At that very moment their was a rumble and huge chunk of snow came barging down the hill toward the cabin. We ran inside and watched as the snow us roof and all.... and my green binder. The house was dark. I went into the garage to sort out some candles. Their was some kind of buzz that started and the whole room started to vibrate like it was inside a live wire.My hair started to blow. Their was some kind of spook in the house. We, who were now three, including Taras twin sister all looked at each other with wonder. I took out a jar of olives and another jar. The other jar was filled with an oily vinegary substance. swimming in the oil were miniature versions of Tara. Each of them with her dark hair her red corduroy pants and black shoes. each of these minatures in a different shape. Many of them in various diving shapes others in submissive postures as though being swept along a fast current. I picked up one of these miniature Taras and stuffed it inside an olive. I arranged it so that her little head was just peaking out and the tips of her fingers as though she was about to climb through. her one eye was open and looking upward. Her dark hair was greasy and sticking to her face. I offered this hors devours to Taras twin sister. Tara watching me do this got an evil little grin. The twin took the stuffed olive and popped it in her mouth contentedly. We heard the bones crunch and imagined the brain squirting out of its crispy shell. Yum ;-D. Tara and i laughed and winged!!! What?!? the Twin asked. I gave her another. This time she looked the gift olive in the mouth. as you would expect she was freaked by what she saw and through the olive on the floor and ran off. I imagine with the purpose to purge herself. Tara and stood there.. laughing.

Tuesday, 4 January 2011

Squaw Hot Pants

I was in venice california. A young skater kid gave me directions to an absolutely dreamy army surplus store.  I was in heaven sifting through old world war one battles garb from all around the world. They also Native american pieces for sale !! o my god ! Sitting Bull's Head Dress ! Custer's jacket !!! for Sale !!! I was particularily drawn to the selection of squaw hot pants with fringe made from brain tanned dear hide. I decided to go with the head dress and the hot pants. I got in my car and drove into the hills. I parked my car and walked to the river. I took off al of my clothes and got into the river. The river was running rapid and thrashing over rocks. Perfect for a rough raft ride. I was riding the river sans raft. It did seemed quite dangerous and i remember hitting the rocks. I wasnt alone on the rapids. My ex boyfriends sister and her husband and baby were riding the rapids as well. Despite the danger we were washed up into a still leg of the river. I climbed up onto the shore. I realised then that i was a very far distance from my car. I found a handsome young man who was considering driving me. It turns out the length of the river took me to Australia !! I had to get back to my car from Australia !! That was some river ride !! Seemlessly i found myself in a hotel room that was done up in 50's American decor. I was washing up and it became clear that i was in a rush and  that i did not want to get caught in the room. I had snuck in after it had been cleaned and had rustled the bed and undone the tidy little corner finishes on the toilet paper roll. i was carrying many musical instruments and a few bags. I was juggling my possessions trying to figure out how i got it all in in the first place. I was about to leave without my guitar...and my great grandmothers blankets. I finally got everything in hand and looked like a bag ladies shopping cart when i turned my head to look at the door. I heard a click. The handle turned and a hand from the other side cracked it open.