Monday, 20 December 2010

the bed bug bites

I woke up in a a squat . I woke up on a mattress on the the floor. My nose woke up to an undefinable scent than had been filling it throughout the night. My eyes opened to view the bare wooden walls, the ceiling fan a the entrance to filthy kitchen. I woke up in a bed where four people slept. I turned to my left and i recognized the young man next to me but not the girl next to him as she emerged from the linens. I had never seen her before. She was blonde..slight... and smiling at me as she wrapped herself around the man. The woman on her left was still in slumber. On the chest of the man i found a very big winged insect. It was much like a big midnight blue butterfly but posed more threat as it had a stinger on the ends of its tail. Its body was black and fury and Its wings were like multiple swafts of ragged, richly colored silk.  My blonde intimate stranger became aware of our winged friend and pinched its tail off. OUr winged friend didnt seem to mind and completely accepted this action.  She then started pulling a thread from its bottom. Out it came this very fine sticky thread ...miles and miles of it. You would think it would have unravelled or emptied the bug but no... it just kept coming.  The girl started coughing. Then she sneezed. As she bobbed her head with the sneeze a fine metalic blue dust went spraying everywhere. She shook her head .... blue pollen... everywhere. The boy and started sneezing and shaking our heads. Blue shiny pollen everywhere !!!  Everything in my view was now coverd in this dust.  I dont seem to recall what happened next... perhaps nothing happened... who can say.

Tuesday, 7 December 2010

High Brow Anime Gore

It was night time. I was riding a motorbike down a city street. The handles were turned parallel to each other which felt very unnatural. I came to bridge and was now travelling under the bridge (and as if i was never on a bike) by foot.  Above the side walk there was another path that ran the length of the underpass.  There was a japanese couple each pushing a stroller with babies in.  I watched them as they navigated there way across this shadowy pass.  They must have come to crack in the landscape as i saw them both stumble and and wrestle their carriages back to balance.  The boy said to the girl, " I am just going to let you handle it if anything tricky comes up, your much more intelligent than me". And so he did. Swiftly upon them came two boys on BMX bikes. The dismounted their bikes and grabbed the couple. The setting shifts from under the bridge to a high street clothing store where i am being given clothing. The couple is being attacked by the BMX boys. They have her pinned to the floor and have gauged her eyes out with a glass shard. It was a proper kill bill moment. I was astonished and terrified yet somehow my attention was divided between the gory anime and the pleasures of the very fine threads being draped all over me. I was in a real fever... but i couldnt tell could'nt tell over what... the violence, or the clothes? ridiculous !!! Anyhow I somehow snapped out of it and ran the fuck out of there !!! "ive got to get to the police" i panted to myself. As i ran i looked behind me to find one of the BMX boys chasing after me. I screamed " what are you doing?  why did you do that to her?" he said. "becuase she's famous, everyone knows her" he then lifted his shard of glass up toward me. Then... and i kid you not... the alarm went off. Whats ridiculous about this dream is that i dreamt it the night after i was in a clothing store in spain where they were giving me clothing. What kind of a twisted fuck ?

Monday, 22 November 2010

mistress unravelled

I was in bed. I had a boyfriend in my dream. He was tall dark and handsome :-). He came into our bedroom pulling a  florescent orange sweater over his head. I had never seen that sweater before and new articles of clothing always intrigue me. "Where did you get that sweater"  i ask " Jenna gave it to me" he responds. I didnt like this as she was a work colleague of his and one that i found a threat to my happy home. I saw the sweater had a snag. He turned away from me and started to his desk. With my curiosity peeked and my eyes green, i got myself out of bed.  I made my way to my lover. He saw me coming and quickly shuffled the cd he was handling back into its file. Driven by suspicion I snatched it up "Whats this ?" A look of discomfort came over him. " is this a mixed tape ?"  He sucked in his cheeks and diverted his eyes "is this a mix tape?" again avoidance from my suspect. I went to the cd player to find out what sentiments he had dubbed for his mistress and the breaker of my home. Just as i went to press play and to avoid the piercing truth... he said "yes...yes... its a mixed tape " furious i tore the cd from the player and stormed to the terrace that looked over the backyard of my families home that i grew up in. With the biggest gust i threw the cd across the fence. I heard it break and imaged it sliver into little tiny pieces. I turned back to him. He was walking awat from me. I moved in closer...just close enough to reach out and pinch the snag between my fingers. Holding on the the yarn as my lover walks away from me the sweater comes unravelled and the florescent orange rope skips to the floor like a heart missing beats...

Friday, 12 November 2010

what the barn has in store

I was in the mountainous hills of West County Sonoma in California . It was spring and the the grass was still green. was taking part in a festival that was being held on this amazing piece of land. I was back stage. there were people everywhere doing all sorts of rural chores... chores that require wheel barrows and pick axes etc. I went into a barn and much to my suprise  i found the Ditty Bops cooking over a fire. Who are the Ditty Bops you ask? The Ditty Bops  are a band made up by two magical young women named amanda and abbey. They are two of my best friends and two of the most creative people i know. Any how they were trying to figure out how to balance this ceramic bowl over the fire. I was happy to assist. It turns out  it turns out that this barn was my new home and i was to live there with the Ditty Bops and another one of my magical friends Ashley. This was a wonderful suprise. The barn was huge !! It was made all of redwood. It had a dirt floor ad all sorts of amazing antique furniture. A rocking chair, a roll top desk. cabinets with very small drawers. I was so excited to learn that this was my new home. i went to rummaging. I found an enormous wool rug and rolled it out in the floor. Woven into the pattern was a phoenix surrounded by flames. The bird had a very colorful tale. I moved some of the most intriguing pieces of furniture into place. I then decided to venture around the property. I passed by many more people with wheel barrows and pick axes. I found a road and walked down it. There was a stream running down the right side of the road. I went to cross it. As i went to step in i saw a steady stream on rattle snakes speeding through the water leaving blurred trails of snake colors streaming in front of me. For some reason i decided that instead of going back the way i came... my only option was to cross the rattle snake creek. I waited for what seemed to be a clearing in the reptile traffic. I stepped in. Before i new it the snakes had rushed up on me and were swarming me. i was doing my best to get across the river. All  but one of the snakes lost interest and moved on. The one however did not want me in her creek.  She propelled herself at me. I racing heart moved me faster away. I managed get to the other side and on to safe ground. Back in my barn now i took to exploring what would be the bedrooms. these were like no rooms i had seen before as the were quite large were surfaced entirely bu a fine polished hardwood but the floor slanted down ward to a small level surface big enough only for a bed. The slanted floor had was wavy.. its hard to explain... it had waves all the way down it and i surfed the waves to  the flat area at the bottom. I saw a bathtub through a window. i exited a door to find the bathtub and i came to a staircase that led me to a shower. There were two very unattractive older men in the shower. One was watching the other as he was filated  by a fouth mouth prostitute. This was an unlikely sight to find in my barn. I startled them ! Its fair to say that they startled me ! One of the men shouted at me ! i dashed out of there and back up the wavy floor which was much harder to climb up that surf down..especially when running from a dirty old man !

Monday, 25 October 2010

undisturbable fatty and the asparagus worm heads

i came upon a young woman and a dog i used to look after named jasper. jasper was a fat black labrador. the woman was young and i have no idea who she was. at the moment i came upon them and to my disbelief the young woman was snapping off one of jaspers legs at the hip. jasper expressed no discomfort rather the ever so familiar indifference i was used to seeing in him. he was laying on his fat belly mewing on his tongue and most likely pining for a biscuit. i on the other hand was crawling out of my skin as this very strange young woman snapped off the other limb exposing the torn splinterd and serrated bone and tendon. there was no blood in jasper !!!!
no blood at all. just whit bone on white sinew and muscle inside fatty. without guff jasper pulled himself around with his front two. darling jaspy. WHAT HAS HAPPENED TO YOU ?
we then rolled him over on his back exposing his generous tummy. he had these grub type wormy things with asparagus heads burrowed into the soft of his belly. we went to de-asparagus worm head him. like we were going in to pull out a tick.... we pinched on the asparagus head worm and pulled.  they came out ever so pleasingly easy. i got a strange sensation of pleasure from this act. like knit picking your lover.

Wednesday, 22 September 2010

The Mists of Roxy

it was night time. we were in the a field surrounded by a circle of redwood trees. it was cool and misty. we were wading in mineral hot spring. i was wearing  orange bathing suit bottoms and no top. i was floating on m back staring up at the stars. a waft of sage lavender and mint filled the air. i heard people approaching. leaning over the spring... came a fury hat on the head of a bearded face. then another fury face and another. they were wearig plaid shirts. some how i put it together that i was surrounded by a clan of fury rockstars. my boyfriend asked me if i was going to put a shirt on. i didnt see the point...why cover up? he said he appreciated my ability to be myself. then we were at the concert side of stage ... through the mists i saw an old friend standing direct in my view. she is one of my favourite dancers. i ran over and  pounced on her. we danced the nigt away. i love you liberty. who were the fury rockstars?

Tuesday, 7 September 2010

Me the Grape Vine

i became aware of the mixture of dirt and air moving through my nose as I took in my last breath. The dirt  now lodged in my nasal passage agitated my eyeballs and brain.  They started to water. My brain and eyes weeping. I would have opened my eyes but I knew the earth would fall into them. I could feel something, some insect perhaps…tiptoeing along my eyelashes… a millipede…one leg fore every lash. I opened my mouth and let the loamy soil fill in like an avalanche. I began to chew and churn the earth in with the moisture in my mouth until it turned to mud. I leaned my head back and let the mud run down my throat. The cold sludge into my stomach through my guts and back into the earth. My back started to cramp. I cannot be sure but it was as though two enormous hands emerged from my kidneys and gripped onto the earth locking me there. I felt a sensation in my abdomen like a needle pulling thread up through my cervix and through my flesh. A sprouting vine winding its way through the soft of my belly climbed through my skin and up toward the sun. I felt my self decompose as the vine grew rapidly bigger and bigger growing leaves and fruit. I could feel the leaves as though they were my own hands and the fruits as well like tears perhaps as they swelled up with sour juices sweeten and then fall to the ground

Tuesday, 8 June 2010

skull cap owl

I was driving down a dark country road through a heavy fog.  I could only see a few feet in front of the car. I was driving slow with the windows down. I could feel the wet air on my face. Suddenly a deer jumped in front of my car. I slammed on my brakes. To my relief I saw didn’t hit the deer and I saw it prance into the wood.  Just ahead from where I stopped in the middle of the road, I could see a large bird tossing and flopping. As I approached I the bird it clearly defined itself as an owl…a big brown spotted owl. It seems as though it died just as I knelt down to get a closer look. She let me pick
her up. I cut into her skull and pulled of the cap of her skull. It popped of in my hand. A thick, round piece of bone…much like a sand dollar. I strung it up on a piece of rope and draped it around my neck. It was beautiful.  I then dug a whole and buried the rest of the owl with the intention to come back after a season and dig up the picked clean bones.

Thursday, 27 May 2010

gun crazy dude and the 70's van

I was catching a ride with a friend of mine from what seemed like a theme park after closing hours. We went down into the car park to this amazingly pimped out 70’s van. As I opened up the van I heard a voice. I looked over to see a young asian man sitting in the front seat of his car with the door open. Once he caught my attention he asked me f it was legal to carry a gun here in this country. I said no. He got out of his car and aimed this rifle at me. He shot at me. A bullet grazed my arm. I was suddenly completely freaked out. And began running around the van. He shot directly at me again. This time he missed me but was still coming after me. As he has going to shoot again my friend came up behind him and put him in some sort of choke hold. I wrestled the gun from him but instead of shooting him I stabbed the tip of the gun up through his soft fleshy chin. He was wearing glasses. The gun sank into his skin like a pen being pushed through cold butter. I did this a few times until he got the point. Once he calmed down we got into the 70’s van and pulled the yellow curtains closed, layed our heads back on the green shag rug, watched the sparkle of the mirror ball….my friend offered me a drink from the wet bar. I requested eggnog.

Thursday, 20 May 2010

Plum Lover Woodpecker Seahorse

I found a plum resting in a mint patch. I bent down over to take a bite. I didn’t use my hands.  The mint filled my senses. Instead of going in on the flesh of the plum with my teeth. I nudged it open with my tongue. It opened up and its sugary juice wet my mouth.  With my tongue I was searching for the stone. I couldn’t find it. With my fingers I spread open fruit to reveal the pit. Happy at reaching the heart of the fruit I handed it to my lover. He lapped up the sappy fruit until all that was left was the seed of a plum tree.

I was then given a box much like a match box although this box was made of wood rather than heavy paper. I slid open the box to find it filled with the fibre from the soap root plant. Nestled in the fibres were 3 miniature woodpeckers. These were a strange breed of woodpecker that was crossed with the sea horse so they had  tails that curled upward towards their breasts. They were no longer than a half inch long. I picked them up very carefully one by one and placed them in my palm to explore the miniatures. They were all dead. They had turned there skeletons inside out. Their feathers and skin still intact but lining the inside of the bones instead. They were dry and hollow. Somehow though the wood peckers had their plumage still on the top of their heads. They felt as though they would crumble under the slightest pressure. I placed them carefully back in their fibrous grave. I slid closed the box.

Wednesday, 19 May 2010

I was in the BBC radio station.

I was in the BBC radio station. We had just finished a live radio session for the a radio Dj that I was unfamiliar with. We were packing up our gear when someone down the hall started playing the recording of what we had just played on the show. I stopped all business to take a listen. “wait…something is really off…” what ? It was my voice singing my words and melody as I had done just minutes before but instead of sounding like the old me the recording had me sounding more like Leonard Cohen. I was singing Murder of Birds two octaves lower. Knowing that I hadn’t actually sung murder of birds two octaves lower and that its not actually physically possible for me to do so. We went in to question the engineer. The rather soft and round engineer was sitting at the mixing board cleaning something red and gooey out of the mixing board looking frazzled. He was wearing a bib making him look rather doe boy. The red gooey stuff was all over his bib and pant legs. After a series of forensic investigation we came to the conclusion that the engineer had been eating something red and gooey and that he spilled it all over the mixing desk causing my vocal in the recording to shift pitch by two octaves giving me that Leonard Cohen quality. Once we had found out who and what was the culprit of this pesky little mishap the doe boy engineer took to flailing as fast as he could out of the BBC station leaving a smear of red goo behind him. Then somehow a girl I went to school with whos name I have forgotten and who I have not thought since I saw back in those days but who appeared exactly how I remember her was standing there preparing herself for the pool. She was wearing a sheer smock from the fifties over a Gstring bikini.
She was looking into the mirror over her shoulder to her backside and adjusting the G string bottoms to fit just so and said  “that’s how the girls are doing it these days right” and slinked out of the room on her way to the pool.

Then there was a knock on the door of my shack. I opened the door to be flooded with the light from a tropical sunset. Standing at my door illuminated was Beyonce. She looked like a tropical angel in a tropical heaven. I said “hi  Beyonce. What are we doing tonight ?”

I slipped on my favourite pair of jeans.


Wednesday, 28 April 2010


I would like to introduce to you my dream blog “ you are innocent when you dream”. I dream explicitly vivid dreams. The life I lead in my sleep is absolutely wonderous and absolutely real. I decided that I wanted to keep a journal recording my sleeplife adventures and what’s more I decided that I would like to share them with anyone who would like to read them.
I will post these dreams as they come according to my natural patterns of dreaming. I seem to go through cycles. I will record them as accurately as possible. I must warn you… I take full advantage of the fact that “you are innocent when you dream” and I promise to include every bizarre, fantastic, criminal, mundane sexual, psycho and obscenely beautiful detail. I promise to disclose all under the condition that you, my fair reader, will forgive me everything. Enjoy.